Gold Coast Suns star Jared Brennan breaks a tackls against the Giants. Picture: Darren England Source: The Courier-Mail
JARED Brennan hated football last season. So much so the thought of giving up the sport which shot him to stardom constantly crossed his mind.
"There were a lot of times I thought about giving up," Brennan admitted.
"All my family is from Darwin and there was always the whisper that if we are not happy we will just head back to Darwin and be happy again."
The former Brisbane Lions star who came to the Suns on a seven-figure deal conceded he didn't sit at home watching AFL and that training was a chore. Last year he didn't even like the sport.
He didn't even hang out with his teammates.
"Because I don't watch football or live football it's very easy to take myself away from it."
Sensationally dropped for the second time in 2012 for the Suns clash against Carlton in Round 22, Brennan's 10-year career had hit a new low.
Senior coach Guy McKenna publicly questioned his passion and intensity but Brennan knew he had already lost both qualities long before then.
"I guess a month into the season I felt that way, that I didn't care about football much any more," he said.
"It was a chore to go to training every day and like anything when you don't love it and have the passion for it you just don't want to do it any more.
"It was hard to take at the time (when I got dropped for the second time last season) but looking back now it was warranted.
"I had no love for the game and I didn't feel like playing football."
The end of the season couldn't come quick enough for Brennan.
While the Suns had already made it clear he wasn't going to be traded at season's end, the 28-year-old still had to work out if he wanted to play on.
"I went away at the end of the season and turned my phone off for about a month and I just had to see what was really important to me," he said.
"Whether that was to stop playing football or (keep going)."
He chose the latter and so far the choice has been the right one.
Brennan has been one of the big improvers on the Sun's pre-season camp in Arizona, surprising McKenna and even his teammates.
"This camp was a big test for me to see if I still love the game and so far all the signs are pretty good," Brennan said.
"This is the first pre-season for a while where I haven't been coming off an operation and I've tried to make the most of that.
"I didn't do much weights over the break and pretty much just ran all the time.
"I wanted to hit the ground running from day one."
And it's not the only change Brennan has made this pre-season.
Apart from his rejuvenated attitude, the quietly spoken individual has made a conscious effort to develop relationships with his teammates in Arizona.
He conceded keeping problems to himself was his biggest mistake.
"I'm a pretty private person and I didn't say much around the group last season and I didn't want to be there," he admits.
"Looking back it probably made things worse.
"I didn't really go to anyone to seek help last season and that probably escalated my lack of passion for AFL.
"So I've made a conscious effort to get around the boys as much as I can this pre-season."
Building friendships within the club is the way Brennan hopes to re-ignite his passion for the game.
A strong friend base was pivotal to his success at Brisbane and after all this is why he decided to play the game in the first place.
"The only reason you play football is to play with teammates," he said.
"Otherwise I would be playing golf, boxing or something like that."
Despite the positive early signs, Brennan admits he has a long way to go.
With the club only into its third week of pre-season, Brennan knows the real test is still to come.
"This is probably the time when you really need to love the game, in the pre-season," he said.
"I knew during last season I hated playing footy but I guess we will wait and see at the end of the pre-season."
With this in mind, Brennan is making no guarantees.
Unlike most players his age, he isn't preaching that he still has a few good seasons left.
But rather just taking it one step at a time.
"I will just take it season by season from here," he said.
"All the signs are good so far and hopefully this camp holds me in good stead."
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